Knots
by ncfan
Summary: Five time he could have said it, but didn't. .: Ishida x Orihime :.


**Characters**: Ishida, Orihime**  
Summary**: Five time he could have said it, but didn't.**  
Pairings**: Ishida x Orihime**  
Warnings/Spoilers**: Small spoilers for Hueco Mundo arc**  
Timeline**: Goes from Hueco Mundo arc to a couple of years past the current timeline of the manga.**  
Author's Note**: Nothing much to report here. Hope you all enjoy it.**  
Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

_i:_

The hole in the wall allows wind and sand to whip at his face, not reaching his eyes thanks to his glasses, so the only reason he has to squint is to try to make out the retreating forms of Ichigo and Ulquiorra high up, racing along the outside walls of the tower.

And Ishida's not the only one who's watching.

He's glad, relieved, to see that Orihime's safe, even if something's…_off_ about her. Even if she seems like a photo negative that's been taken out of the dark room before it's had the chance to develop properly. Even if she seems warped and changed. That can be discarded for now and returned to later for further contemplation.

Her eyes are riveted on the sky above them, and Ishida's not sure he could get her attention now even if he wanted to. He says her name to get her attention anyway.

Before Ishida can say anything, a sharp dose of reality hits him and knocks painfully on the crown of his skull to remind him of all the ways he _shouldn't_ be opening his mouth. The slightly glazed look in Orihime's eyes only serves to reinforce Ishida's assumptions and insecurities.

_No… I shouldn't say anything yet._

His sense of timing's not _that_ bad.

_ii:_

If Ishida's honest with himself, he's a little afraid of what Orihime's become in the wake of her captivity in Hueco Mundo, what she seems to have metamorphosed into.

Glassy-eyed and more than a little dulled, she just glides through life now without taking a great deal of interest of anything that passes her by.

Despite knowing there's not anything he could have done, Ishida feels guilt as well as fear. If this was simply the result of her imprisonment, than he would know for certain that what's happening now isn't the fault of anyone living.

But really, her mask has cracked. Her smiles have broken down. Orihime, Ishida's beginning to suspect, has always been like this, and has just been able to hide it before hand. Being forced to choose between her own freedom and the life of her friends was the tipping point.

If Hell on earth has come for Inoue Orihime, _someone_ ought to have been able to see it coming.

The day is so very typical of the winter months, frigid and gray and enough to put gloom into the heart of anyone caught outside.

"You're sure you're alright?" Ishida shivers in the cold and pulls his coat closer around him, blinking up at the sky, squinting with weak eyes. He's managed to catch her after school, not being able to find any time to talk to Orihime during school hours.

He wouldn't be asking, but when she came to school her eyes were red and more than a little bloodshot. They had an important test that day and for all Ishida knows, Orihime may just have spent more of the night studying than sleeping, but it still bothers him.

"I could ask you the same thing," Orihime retorts, trying to throw him off the subject, "after today in gym class."

Ishida's face flushes red as he pushes his glasses up his nose self-consciously. "That was hardly atypical. My physical ineptitude in gym class is legendary." With a bit of misplaced pride, he adds, "You're talking to the kid who, in his entire school career, has been picked last for gym a total of eight hundred and twenty-six times."

At this, Orihime frowns, raising an eyebrow. "Ishida-kun… You've been keeping _count_?"

They both know it's bad when it's _him_ trying to cheer someone up via self-deprecation. Ishida possesses just a little too much pride for that, normally.

"Ugh… Never mind that, please. I'm just worried." Ishida pauses; he hates pointing out the obvious. Finally, he says, slowly, "You haven't been yourself."

Orihime doesn't say anything for a long time, walking in silence with that all-too-familiar, pale, strained look coming over her face. Her eyes narrow, somewhere between weariness and frustration. "Why do you care so much?"

"…Because you'd never let up if I came to school looking like last night was Hell, not until you got a satisfactory answer," he bursts out. "You haven't in the past."

She shakes her head and quirks the suggestion of a smile. "I'm okay, okay? I'm just tired; I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night."

Ishida's almost certain she's lying.

Orihime doesn't notice the way he narrows his eyes and smiles wistfully up at the gray sky. "I just…really want Winter to be over. That's all, I swear."

_iii:_

Sure enough, as the weather starts warming up again Orihime is more cheerful, coming back to her sweet, slightly ditzy self, if admittedly with an element of gravity that certainly wasn't there before. Ishida doesn't know if that was really what was wrong with her in the first place, or if it's just a coincidence that she's somewhat back to normal. He's decided to go with the second option.

"She seems…_cheerful_."

"Obviously."

Ishida and Ichigo have pretty much given up on the almost constant bickering that defined their relationship when they first met. They both like to think they've gotten past the point where they have to keep up appearances by getting on each other's nerves twenty-four hours a day.

They're friends. They're not afraid to admit it.

That's not to say they aren't still capable of having cringe-inducing arguments from time to time. It's just the fact that they're so rare now that makes them so epic.

Orihime is trying to get Sado and Rukia—who's been put back on deep assignment in Karakura Town—to do…_something_; Ishida's not entirely sure what. He gets the impression that Sado's only going along with Orihime to humor her, and from the irritated look Rukia throws Ichigo when Orihime's not looking, he gets the impression that she's about to take her irritation out on Ichigo.

"It's good she's getting back to herself," Ichigo comments, a little absent. He's really not paying too much attention to what's going on in front of him; Ishida wonders what has him so distracted, but doesn't ask. "It was hard not to worry."

Ishida nods. "Yes."

His eyes narrow as he watches Orihime laugh and continue to attempt persuading Sado and Rukia into going along with whatever it is she has in mind.

She looks happy. Happier than she's been in months.

_iv:_

"This is _not_ the women's bathroom, Inoue-san."

"I know that. I was just wondering what was taking you so long. It's not like anyone else is in here."

Secretly, Ishida has been dreading high school graduation, and he doesn't even know why. Maybe it's just a fear of the unknown, of having structure ripped out from under his feet. That and not having anything to do during the day. Oh, yeah, he's definitely attending college in the fall. How he's going to pay for it is a different matter.

"It's nothing." He tries to wave her off. "I'm just having issues." With knotting his tie, as he knows Orihime can plainly see. Hand injuries aren't exactly conducive to knotting a tie easily, let alone deftly or quickly.

Orihime smiles and laughs softly (Ishida feels his face go red from embarrassment). She holds out her hands. "Here, let me help."

If possible, Ishida's pretty sure his face is even redder than before. "…Okay."

Mercifully, it's over soon. Fingernails dig lightly into his neck; Orihime winces slightly and murmurs an apology, sticking her tongue out slightly in concentration.

"Better?" There's a lightly teasing note in her voice.

Ishida manages a lopsided, embarrassed half-smile. "Better."

_v:_

Ishida finds it a bit ironic that he's essentially in the same position his father was in thirty years ago. A starving college student so swamped in student debt that he'll probably drown before he ever sees graduation (A story his father once told him as a child had him saying that he hadn't been able to pay off all of his student loans until nearly six years after he graduated from medical school; Ishida hopes and prays Ryuuken was only exaggerating). Tuition isn't exactly easy to pay at times.

College is hardly a negative experience, though.

"Hello." Orihime smiles warmly as she sits down on the bench beside him, casting a sympathetic look at the thick, probably upwards of seven-hundred page textbook open on his lap, complete with several loose papers and mechanical pencil. "Homework?"

"Yes."

Ishida's not entirely sure how Orihime's managing to pay for college either. As he understands it, since her brother died she's been supported by a distant cousin who doesn't care enough to take her in personally but doesn't want to see her starve either; he's probably the one who's supporting her now through college.

"Well, you are not alone." Orihime motions towards the bulk of the bag slung at her shoulder, letting it fall heavily to the ground. She laughs ironically, dipping her chin for a moment. "I never thought the homework could get any worse than senior year in high school."

"Think again." Ishida picks up his pencil and starts marking down notes on the paper, anything to keep from looking at her and making a fool out of himself. Again.

A soft giggle comes from beside him and Orihime swings her legs for a second before speaking. "Yeah. I can't believe how often I've had to stay up all night this semester. It's easier than I thought it would be. College, I mean."

"Yes. All the horror stories I've ever heard from older students have turned out to be half-substance and half-hot air. Gross exaggeration ought to be a crime." If he sounds a little more sour than usual, it's because the professor gave them extra homework that morning when he promised he wouldn't.

"Sourpuss." The familiar teasing inflection is present, and Ishida gets the strong impression that the driving purpose in Orihime's life is to make him take himself a little less seriously. She has, over the years, somewhat succeeded. Somewhat. That does not by any means make it less disconcerting.

"Sourpuss?" Going along with her, Ishida looks up, line of sight not on her, and quirks a half-smile. "I object to that."

Another laugh. "I thought you'd say that. You are nothing if not predictable."

"Now I will admit to that."

A few more minutes of silence passes, Ishida mouthing out words as he reads through the college algebra textbook and scratches out numbers on paper. He frowns.

"Is the college algebra really all that difficult?"

"Aren't you taking this too?"

"Not this semester."

And all the while he doesn't look her in the eye. Orihime apparently finds this objectionable somehow.

"Ishida-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Look at me."

Something in her tone makes Ishida think that maybe he shouldn't, but curiosity wins out over better instinct and he does.

That's when Orihime leans over and kisses him.

After the initial shock, tension immediately goes out of the air.

This time, nothing need be said.

* * *

Not my most inspired work ever, but I'm happy with it. And damn it, these two need to have a happy ending at least once. Reviews would be greatly appreciated.


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